four years later...

I went back to the city where we met. It smelled like fertilizer. Usually does. The road to the building was blocked, under construction. I didn't go inside, but I wanted to. I felt pathetic.

I imagined you sitting there, cross-legged, the only person in history to look brooding while wearing a sweater vest.

I haven't seen you for a long time. Months.

You gave me some things I can never lose. For that, I thank you. Even if it makes me feel like dying sometimes, it is art. I couldn't ask for more, or less.

I enter into something new. Something separate, but I still hear your voice in my head. Flighty, laughing, tragic. My voice answers, shaky, pretentious. I wait for yours to fade.

It hasn't.

Like watching a scary movie, I hide my face in my hands but peek through anyway.

I can see slits of your face through the cracks between my fingers. You are smiling, eyes crinkled at the corners.

That's how I'll remember you.