what else can judge colombus do?

Oh man, I feel like crap.

How can I let my self concept be tied up in someone else? How is it that one person by one action (or inaction) can make me regress to fourteen years old? This is so effing lame.

Holy lord I want my philosophy papers to be done.

For better or worse I watched The US vs. John Lennon with my roommates tonight and I loved it. But I felt guilty for loving it. Until now I never felt ashamed of myself. I never felt the need to justify things that are important to me. Why does there always have to be a reason? Why is it so important to make people understand and affirm me? Why is it that when they don't I feel illegitimate and juvenile? Just because someone does want to give it a chance? One person? I know what is real to me and I know why it makes sense. I wish that were enough. I wish I were above this. Maybe I should go back to claiming satisfaction in independence. But who really believed that anyway? I sure didn't.

Well comrades, I have next to me a basket of fries and a quad-shot cappuccino, and it IS going to be a good night, because I have decided that it is going to be a good night, screw it all. In twelve hours I am going to bed and staying there for a good while. Huzzah!