bringing it all back home

what's hot: new green walmart coats
what's not: being thirty dollars poorer.

what's hot: productive practice sessions
what's not: not-so-encouraging violin lessons

what's hot: singing in an opera as a progressively more drunken Russian man
what's not: concerto competitions the same day

what's hot: PACKAGES FROM JAPAN!!!!
what's not: packages from...um.. greenland? ? just kidding, that would be cool.

what's hot: HuHot!
what's not: another pbj in a box

etc.


How my lesson on Tuesday goes pretty much determines my disposition for the rest of the week, until my next one. So it's been kind of a downer few days. It's an inexplicably sucky feeling to realize that maybe I actually don't have enough ability to do what I want to do with my life, no matter how much I sacrifice for it. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I would have stuck with the non-music-major route. This is how I am. Knowing that I very well might not succeed at something makes a significant part of me not want to even try. And that's bad, quite anti-Jonathan Larson. Because I want this. A lot.

But hey, in the words of an anonymous music prof, "Don't worry, Aubrey, you can always flip burgers."

Holla.