each time you tell their story

"No soldiers choose to die. It's what they risk being who and where they are. It's what they dare while saving someone else whose life means suddenly as much to them as theirs. Or more. To honor them, why speak of duty or the will of governments? Think first of love each time you tell their story. It gives their sacrifice a name and takes from war its glory."
- Dr. Samuel J. Hazo

last weekend my unit played for a ceremony in honor of the anniversary of the attacks on the world trade center/pentagon, and in honor of the families of the soldiers from south dakota who have given their lives in the war on terror.
so here's me. doing about the smallest service i can think of. yes, music is important, but what is it really accomplishing? i complained a lot yesterday. i heard my complaints, hated them, but said them anyway. i saw how ungrateful i've become, but did nothing to remedy it.
it's easy to dehumanize the warriors who have made the ultimate sacrifice. it's easy to say that they were somehow "different" than the rest of us - they cared nothing of their own lives, only of the lives of others. they made sacrifices without complaint, never whining, always content with where they were, willing to give and give and give without ever a thought of reimbursement for their actions.
the truth is that it's harder for me to think of these heroes as being similar to myself. it's so much easier for me to believe that they didn't mind death, as long as it's for the good of the cause. that their own ambitions and future didn't matter to them, only the welfare of their battle buddies and their country. for some reason it doesn't seem as tragic for someone who doesn't selfishly value their life as i do, to give it up. but these men and women were not so different from myself. they all had desires, ambitions, hopes, dreams - many of them had a wife or husband and children. each had his/her own unique voice, perspective, and abilities to offer society. what is so amazing is that each of them chose to use those gifts for something greater than his/herself. the sacrifice these warriors made is not just their physical body, what is tangible, what we can easily understand. these soldiers gave up their selfish desires to pursue unselfish ones. in many ways, the sacrifice was made before they even shipped off to iraq.

i saw the parents, siblings, and spouses of the fallen heroes, sitting in the front row at the ceremony. for some reason it struck me how "normal" they looked. i'm not sure what i expected; were they supposed to stand out? like they were somehow different than the rest of us?

one thing i've learned through my whole experience in the military is the humanity of soldiers. they are NO different from the rest of us, as far as their psychological makeup. people enlist for totally different reasons - some for college money, some for prestige, some to rebel against their parents, some because they have nowhere else to go. but after each soldier takes the oath to protect the US of A, he or she has something in common with the entire body of the US military - an intense sense of duty. this doesn't always mean a desire to leave things familiar and comfortable, but a willingness to give these things up for a time to complete a mission. that sense of duty is why so many have given their lives for the cause. that sense of duty is what keeps our country on its feet.
what if i'm called up? what would i feel? fear? pride? anger? excitement? i have no idea. but i do know that for some reason, no matter how "behind-the-scenes" my job is, that sense of duty and pride was implanted in me sometime in the past few years. it will keep me hopeful, driving on, looking forward, come what may.