I said goodbye to Fern 314 today. It's so weird thinking about how much has happened in that room. Three years is a long time. I am a completely different person than I was when I first moved in there. Ugh.

I bought groceries today for the first time. Like real groceries to eat for meals. I spent like fifty dollars. It makes me feel mucky inside. I swear all I bought was like Special K and apples and macaroni and cheese. And PBJ. I don't want to eat my own food. I don't want to cook in my own pans. I am beginning to see why no matter how much I complain about being in this place there is NO WAY I will be ready to leave in a year.

Children scare me. I'm not kidding. They freak me out. The crawl all over you. I like having personal space. I also like not having things ripped out of my vagina. And not wiping butts.

I feel like puking a little.

I miss Ruthie. I'm not sure why that made me think of Ruthie. I've never wiped her butt even once.

My fish is PISSED OFF. He was stuck in the first floor lounge of Fern all day and now his gills and fins and stuff are all poofed out like he's going to attack something. I think Charlie and I have many things in common.

I like Ysaye, no matter how ridiculous his name is. It makes me feel introspective but huge. And tragic. Like I could kick some ass if I would stop crying all over the violin. I think I just like feeling tragic even though there's nothing tragic about my life really.

I have a big powerful key to the music building for the next three weeks. It's good, because I've been looking for somewhere to throw all my big drunken parties.

I like appletinis. Just like JD.

Tomorrow... I have absolutely NOTHING to do. ALL DAY. Nothing. No classes, no practicing, no guilt for not reading western civ... no lessons.... no rehearsals... oh my dear lord I am going to sit around eating Easy Mac and watching reruns of Friends until I get than nasty I-haven't-moved-all-day shaky 300-pound feeling. I might put my laundry away.

It doesn't feel like I'm on campus. The apartments are weird. I guess this is what life will be like next year. Except I won't have to eat my own nasty food. I can eat someone else's nasty food.

I did indeed wash my sheets today, to whom it may concern. ha HA.