specks in the stadium

my own mind never ceases to perplex me. i'm sitting here, absolutely sick of doing nothing, yet i feel too lethargic to ever actually DO anything. this applies to little things, yes, like cleaning my room (currently there is too much crap on the floor to even walk from the door to my bed without some type of bodily injury), but it also definitely applies to larger things -- career choice, personal ambition, etc. i find myself focusing so much of my energy on being disgusted with the world. americans are so oblivious to everything - we just sit here in out little utopia completely uninterested in the devastation that's going on everywhere else, and we continue to spend our money on crap we don't need, waste our time thinking about things that don't matter. what will i wear tomorrow? what can i buy next that will make me feel important or happy? i get SO SICK of the general mindset we have in this country, when in fact i am the embodiment of that very thing i am so upset with. what am i doing to help those less fortunate than me? nothing. not a thing.
i went to a twins game with my parents a few weeks ago. the stadium was packed - there were over forty thousand people there. as i gazed at the crowd, it struck me how completely insignificant i really am. each person i could see on the opposite side of the dome was just a teeny speck, so small and powerless. yet each person there was exactly like me -- each had his or her own ambitions, dreams, desires, problems. but to me each was just another dot in the crowd. forty thousand people is what, a fifth the size of sioux falls? and sioux falls is maybe a fourth the population of south dakota, which is a teeny tiny fraction of the population of the us, which is a teeny tiny fraction of the population of the world, which would barely even be visible on a map of the universe. it makes me absolutely speechless to try to grasp the idea the God actually cares personally about each and every person on the planet. i can't even handle my own whiny problems, but God can somehow balance the troubles of every tiny speck of a person in every corner of the universe. i need to remember this next time i trick myself into thinking that i could somehow be important in the grand scheme of things.